Days like these are what makes my faith and beliefs grow fonder of everything I’ve ever learned. Mental muscle takes courage, tears, fears, praising, resting, restlessness, every human emotion is needed for change. It’s lonely sometimes , I’m my only best friend, then there’s that invisible realm where others might call it delusional and not real but in my heart it’s what has kept me going in my life to see and experience things like all small children do who are in amazement through imagination, rhythm, and play.
I grew up in Los Angeles, mostly east of it. I drove to the ocean just to park and walk a lot. The bus and metro transits are what started my love for art. Having the internet at the start of highschool was my secret escape. By age 16 I had met a lot of street artist, gone to a variety of music shows, and had created an alias for myself in the virtual myspace world. As young as I was I always kept wishing for my own “privacy and world” . I remember being thrilled of one day living on my own and being a mom. The other half of me just started my art dreams and hopes. The inner me just wanted to have my own space to create and give love through cooking, affection, and creating a family. My first job was food, my second was elementary school settings, and my third was teaching art while finally had become pregnant by age 24. At 25 we left the city and everyone we knew and moved two hours away to a rural community. Never even knew where I was going to live as I was always being surprised and my free flow way of being I just naturally adapted to the situation and became positive about our move as my baby boy was only a year old. My inner child also healed a lot in this space. Now 6 years have gone by and at times it feels new but then again I realize it’s officially time to truly call this space home. I could officially consider myself a valley girl. My body, mind , and soul are now a part of this town and I never want to live in the city ever again. I understand why the universe placed us here and even when the world was against our choice I now understand my abilities and power’s I never knew existed. The schorching heat, the golden dust , and pink sunsets over rides the lonely times, silence , and no visitors coming over. Surely I can tell myself now not everyone is meant to survive in the desert unless your willing to quench your thirst through tears of being deserted yet knowing the creator made it perfectly bright and dark at night to sing your own victory and declare yourself ready for any war.